“This is the moment
that you know
that you told her that you loved her but you don’t
you touch her skin
and then you think
that she is beautiful but she don’t mean a thing to me

I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking as we moved together in the dark: all the friends that I was telling, all the playful misspellings—every bite I gave you left a mark, and tiny vessels oozed into your neck to form the bruises that you said you didn’t want to fade; but they did, and so did I, that day.”

笑ってくれたら嬉しいな

Joanna Newsom - “Colleen”

I’ll tell it as I best know how
and that’s the way it was told to me:
must have once been a thief or a whore
then surely was thrown overboard, where, they say
I came the way from the deep blue sea

picked me up and tossed me round
I lost my shoes and tore my gown
forgot my name and drowned, then
woke up with the surf a-pounding, it seemed
I had been run aground

well they took me in and shod my feet
and taught me prayers for chastity
and said my name would be “Colleen”
and I was blessed among all women, to have
forgotten everything

~

and as the weeks and months ensued
I tried to make myself of use
tilled and planted, but could not produce
not root, nor leaf, nor flower, nor bean; Lord!
it seemed I overwatered everything

and I hate the sight of that empty air
like stepping for a missing stair
and falling forth forever blindly
cannot grab hold of anything! no, not I
most blessed among Colleens

~

I dream some nights of a funny sea
as soft as a newly born baby
cries for me so pitifully
and I dive for my child with a wildness, in me and then
so sweetly there received

but last night came a different dream
a gray and sloping-shouldered thing
said ‘what’s cinched ‘round your waist, Colleen?
is that my very own baleen? no! have you
forgotten everything?’

~

this morning, ‘round the cape at dawn
some travellers sailed into town
scraps for sale and the saddest songs
and a book of pictures, leather-bound that showed a whale
with a tusk a meter long

well I asked the man who showed it me:
‘what is the name of that strange beast?’
he said its name translated roughly
to “He-Who-Easily-Can-Curve-
Himself-Against-The-Sky”, and I am without words
he said ‘my lady looks perturbed
(the light is in your eyes, Colleen)’
I said, ‘what ever can you mean?’, he leaned in and said
‘you ain’t forgotten everything’

~

‘you dare to speak a lady’s name?’
he said; ‘my lady is mistaken,
I would not speak your name in this place
and if I were to try, then the wind - I swear - would rise
to tear you clean from me without a trace

‘have you come, then, to rescue me?’
he laughed and said, ‘from what, “Colleen”?
you dried and dressed most willingly
you corseted, and caught the dread disease
by which one comes to know such peace’

Well it’s true that I came to know such things
as the laws that govern property
and the herbs to feed the babes that wean
the welting weight for every season, but still
I don’t know any goddamned “Colleen”!

~

then dive down there with the lights to lead
that seem to shine from everything
down to the bottom of the deep blue sea
down where your heart beats, so slow
and you never in your life have felt so free
will you come down there with me?
down where our bodies start to seem
like artifacts of some strange dream
which afterwards you can’t decipher, and so, soon
have forgotten everything

GO!GO!7188「雨上がり　アスファルト　新しい靴で」
GO!GO!7188 - “Ameagari ASUFARUTO atarashii kutsu de [Asphalt After the Rain, in New Shoes”; lyrics by Akiko NOMA [Akko], song by Yumi NAKASHIMA [Yuu]

考えるのはやめた　答えなんてもういらない
算数みたいには　割り切れないから

I’m done with thinking and I don’t need answers either
Cos you can’t divide things out like in math

ありふれた日々でも　うまくいかない恋でも
なんとなくの夢でも　間違いじゃない

Days and days of same-old same-old or love that goes badly
Or some dream I have—there’s nothing wrong with that

ダメでも　見失っても”自分”は誰にも奪えやしない

It maybe flawed and may be lost sight of, but no one can snatch your self away

雨上がり　アスファルト　新しい靴で
どこまでも　行けそうさ　どこまでも

On the asphalt after the rain, in new shoes
Anywhere—I can go anywhere

雑音に埋もれたまんまの　埃まみれの本音
本当にこのままでいいの？

What you want to say all covered in dust and buried in noise
Is that really okay?

誰かのために悩むより　自分のために笑えればきっと…

If I can smile for myself instead of worrying for someone else, then I just know…

いくつも水溜り越えて

Getting over no matter how many puddles

雨上がり　アスファルト　新しい靴で
どこまでも　行けそうさ　どこまで行こう？

On the asphalt after the rain, in new shoes
I can go anywhere—where should I go?

泣きたい時だって　笑う時だって
なんでもない時だって”自分”のままでいたいだけ

Even when I want to cry or when I smile
or when nothing in particular, I just want to be the way I am

Full disclosure: I literally never watched .hack//SIGN, the anime to which this song belongs. I got this song just before high school, searching desperately for anything Japanese to listen to. This song somehow made it safely through two computer changes in the intervening seven or so years.

Anyway, say what you will, but my fourteen-year-old self was a sucker for plaintive flutes (despite the fact that Ms. Kajiura is a little out of her range here). I myself happen to be a sucker for nostalgia (and plaintive flutes).

優しい夜明け
“Gentle Dawn”
作詞：梶浦由記 作曲：梶浦由記
Song and lyrics by KAJIURA Yuki

永遠探す君は移り気な夢見人
浮気な夢にすがり貴方は何処へ行く

Searching for eternity, you’re a capricious dreamer
Clinging to fickle dreams; where are you going?

黄昏開く鍵を深して月の影
届かないまま泣いた私は何処へ行く

I who wept, searching for the key that opens the twilight
but unable to reach the shadow of the moon: where am I going?

二人瞳に秘密失くしても
重ねた腕をほどきはしないわ

Though I lose my secrets in our eyes
I will not loose our clasped arms

一月の蒼い月朝焼け隠してよ
終わるはずのない夜に優しい夜明け

O pale January moon, hide the glow of morning
The gentle dawn of a night which ought not end

近付く程に痛む恋の重さのせいで
離れすぎてた胸を自由と呼んでいた

This love hurts so much that I move closer to you— it was so heavy
That I called “freedom” this breast, too far away

暗い場所にだけ光るものがあると
小さな窓の遠く見つめてた

Thinking there are things that shine only in dark places
I gazed distantly through a little window

一月の蒼い月どこまで落ちて行く
終わるはずのない恋に優しい夜明け

O pale January moon, how far will you sink?
The gentle dawn to a love which ought not end

一月の蒼い月朝焼け隠してよ
終わるはずのない夜に優しい夜明け

O pale January moon, hide the glow of morning
The gentle dawn to a night which ought not end

(The ninth of March is graduation. Also thanks to Miss Natta for pointing out that 9 is a 9, not a 3. C: )

流れる季節の真ん中で
ふと日の長さを感じます
せわしく過ぎる日々の中に
私とあなたで夢を描く

In the midst of the flowing seasons
Suddenly I feel the length of a day
In these too-busy days,
We trace our dreams, you and I

3月の風に想いをのせて
桜のつぼみは春へとつづきます

Put my feelings into the March wind
The cherry buds continue toward spring
[Also perfectly possible, maybe better, is “Putting their feelings into the March wind/the cherry blossoms continue toward spring”]

溢れ出す光の粒が
少しずつ朝を暖めます
大きなあくびをした後に
少し照れてるあなたの横で

Drops of light overflowing
Warm the morning bit by bit
Beside you, blushing and shy
After a big yawn

新たな世界の入口に立ち
気づいたことは 1人じゃないってこと

Standing at the entrance to a new world
What I realized was that I am not alone

※瞳を閉じれば あなたが
まぶたのうらに いることで
どれほど強くなれたでしょう
あなたにとって私も そうでありたい※

If I close my eyes, you
Are behind my eyelids: with this
How strong have I become?
I want to be that as well, for you

砂ぼこり運ぶ つむじ風
洗濯物に絡まりますが
昼前の空の白い月は
なんだかきれいで 見とれました

A whirlwind bearing a dust cloud
Tangled itself in my laundry, but
The white moon in the sky just before noon
Was somehow lovely, and I was fascinated

上手くはいかぬこともあるけれど
天を仰げば それさえ小さくて

There will be times when things go poorly, but
If you look up to heaven, even those are so small

青い空は凛と澄んで
羊雲は静かに揺れる
花咲くを待つ喜びを
分かち合えるのであれば それは幸せ

The blue sky is cool and clear
And the clouds like sheep float quietly
If I can share the joy of waiting for the flowers to bloom
That will be happiness

この先も 隣で そっと微笑んで

After this, be beside me, smiling

(※くり返し)
(※ repeat)

So I don’t generally like this song but when something’s stuck in your head you gotta translate it to get it out.

作詞 (lyrics)：Utada Hikaru 作曲 (composition)：Utada Hikaru

“For You”

ヘッドフォンをして
ひとごみの中に隠れると
もう自分は消えてしまったんじゃないかと思うの

I put on headphones
And hide in a crowd of people
I wonder if I haven’t already disappeared

自分の足音さえ 消してくれるような音楽 ケンカのことも君をも忘れるまで 踊っていたい

Music that mercifully
Hides even my footsteps
I want to dance
Until I forget about the fight, and about you

散らかった部屋に帰ると
君の存在で
自分の孤独確認する

I come back to my disordered room
And by your existence
Confirm my aloneness

※誰かの為じゃなく
自分の為にだけ
優しくなれたらいいのに
一人じゃ孤独を感じられない
だから　For you…
強くなれるように
いつか届くように
君にも同じ孤独をあげたい
だから　I sing this song for you※

Not for someone else
Only for myself
Though I should be able to be kind
By myself I can’t feel alone
So, for you…
So that I can be strong
So that I{/it} might someday reach [you]
I want to give you this same aloneness
So I sing this song for you

起きたくない朝も
君の顔のために起きるよ
眠れない夜は
君がくれた歌を口ずさむんだ

Mornings when I don’t want to wake up
I wake up because of your face
Nights when I can’t sleep
I sing to myself the song you gave me

勘違いしないでよ
誰もなにも君に頼ろうと
思ってるわけじゃないから

Don’t misunderstand
I’m not thinking I’ll ask you to take care
Of anyone, or anything

△誰かの為じゃなく
自分の為にだけ
歌える歌があるなら
私はそんなの覚えたくない
だから　For you…
慣れてるはずなのに
素直になれるのに
誤解されると張り裂けそうさ
だから　I sing this song for you△

Not for anyone else
Only for me
If I have a song I can sing
I don’t want to remember anything like that
So for you…
Though I ought to be used to it
Though I should be able to be good about it
When you get me wrong I feel like I’m going to burst apart
So I sing this song for you

I want to make you cry
傷つけさせてよ　直してみせるよ
飛びたい時は
You always give me a brighter sky
You want to make me cry
悲しみで教えてくれた喜び
輝きたい時は
You always give me a darker sky

I want to make you cry
Let me hurt you, I’ll show you I can fix you
When I want to fly
You always give me a brighter sky
You want to make me cry
The joy you taught me by sadness
When I want to shine
You always give me a darker sky

(※repeat) (△repeat)