Young Japanese girls brave the early morning rain to bid farewell to friends leaving for Manzanar relocation camp.
Once when I was around thirteen I said to my dad, “You know, the forties must have been really hard for Asian people.”
To which he responded, “Yes, they were,” thinking that I was being historically profound, until I continued:
“Because, you know, our hair doesn’t hold curls that well.”
(At the time I thought it was all of us, but it turns out that SOME OF US hold curls just fine! Not me, though.)
So this is Hanako, she’s really cool.
今のところは、しばらくの間はアメリカに住んでいてもかまわないと思っているのでアメリカでの仕事を探しますが、それでいいとしても日本に帰りたいという気持ちは中々納められないのです。春休みでも・・・と思っていたら、やっぱりそれは卒業論文に夢中でないとならないし、そんなお金を持っているわけもないし。
ただ、この、遊びに行きたいという気持ちは初めてで、このこの前は「行きたい」と思ったらつまり「住みたい」ということだったのです。でけど遊びに行ったってどこで何をすればいいか全然分かりません。この前行ったら、毎日の生活をを送っていただけです。
[…]I don’t know if I like this man or hate him. After sitting for awhile, I decide to go back to the café. “I’m going to leave now. I’ll come again soon.” As I speak, Nomura picks up a small knife and flings it at me. The small blade sticks in the tatami. I gasp. So he still has this disgusting habit. When we lived together at Seta, he threw a knife at me several times. I can’t move, knowing that if I stand up, he’ll grab me by the legs and push me down. […]
Nighttime.
Just as I begin to drunkenly sing for the customers, Nomura comes into the café. I stop singing. It’s not my turn to serve the customers, but I know that he has no money. I feel a bitterness in my chest.
Sourly playing the mouth harp, Katsumi brings him sake. My legs feel week. I call Katsumi to the back room and tell her that Nomura knows me and doesn’t have any money. She understands and goes back. I leave the back door just as I am[…]
I take my time returning to the cafe and find that Nomura is still there. He is drinking sake and eating fried rice with a peaceful expression. I think I would sacrifice anything for him. Nomura leaves at about ten p.m.
Feeling that I am about to sink into the ground, I realize that there is no such thing as love.
[translated by Elizabeth Hanson]
枯らさずに咲かせよう
夢がやがて確かな
輝きへ変わるように
‘In all the world, I know only one woman. No woman, but my wife, moves me as a woman. And my wife regards me as the only man for her. From this point of view, we should be the happiest of couples.’
I cannot remember clearly why it was that he took the trouble of telling me this. But I do remember that his manner at the time was serious, and that he was calm. What struck me then as being odd was his last remark: ‘…we should be the happiest of couples.’ Why ‘should be’? Why did he not say, ‘We are the happiest of couples’?
私だけの状況が非常に個人的で複雑で、それだけで日常生活の責任を落とすとかしても何も悪くないなど
そう思っていました。
申し訳ございません。今からちゃんと自分を取り直しますので。
Let’s just talk for a minute about how much I love “sasuga.” According to this, it means “reconfirming and being impressed again by what you thought would happen all along; more or less agreeing but on the other hand having your doubts or being unable to agree”; “recognizing something to be true but under different circumstances it wouldn’t be, yes, but; yes, exactly as I thought; even ______ [wouldn’t be able to…]”
ALSO, fun fact: you never use kanji for sasuga, but if you did, it would be “flowing rock.” PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT not really it’s bad for you D:
さすが【流石・遉】
一〘形動〙《文》〘ナリ〙
１
評判や期待のとおりの事実を確認し、改めて感心するさま。なるほど、たいしたもの。「この難問が解けるとは—だ」
２
あることを一応は認めながら、一方でそれと相反する感情を抱くさま。あることをそのままは容認できないさま。そうとばかりも言えない。やはりそうもいかない。
「世の中なべて厭（いと）はしうおぼしならるるに、—なること多かり」〈源•花散里〉
二〘副〙
１
あることを認めはするが、特定の条件下では、それと相反する感情を抱くさま。そうは言うものの。それはそうだが、やはり。「味はよいが、これだけ多いと—に飽きる」「非はこちらにあるが、一方的に責められると—に腹が立つ」
２
予想•期待したことを、事実として納得するさま。また、その事実に改めて感心するさま。なるほど、やはり。「一人暮らしは—に寂しい」「—（は）ベテランだ」
３
（「さすがの…も」の形で）そのものの価値を認めはするが、特定の条件下では、それを否定するさま。さしもの。「—の名探偵も今度ばかりはお手上げだろう」
